


the good side

by pentateen



Series: Bloom - Project [3]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sad, Wedding, hinted at jaehyungparkian, idk how to tag, jae leaves him, others are mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 15:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17624594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pentateen/pseuds/pentateen
Summary: It had been exactly eight months, thirteen days and seventeen hours that they had seen each other the last time. Eight months since the last spring, thirteen days since the last day, seventeen hours since the last touch of hands.It had been exactly six years, three months, four days and twelve hours since their last kiss.And it had been exactly six years, three months, four days and six hours since Jae had broke Wonpil’s heart._______Or the one in which Jae and Wonpil were supposed to get married...but don’t.





	the good side

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I’m back with part three of the series! Yay. This time with Day6! 
> 
> Enjoy!

The worst part was that Jae was okay.  
The worst part was that Jae was okay while he was not.

Wind blew through Wonpil’s hair, made it fly out of his face. Jae saw him from the other side of the street, not moving an inch.

Wonpil looked pale. Skinny. Like he hadn’t slept in weeks, maybe months. His hand was shaking as he held it up to catch a cab driving by.

Jae couldn’t move. He was drawn to him in a strange way, a way he wasn’t supposed to. A part of him hated this because it wasn’t time for this yet. There was a time window he had in which he just wasn’t think about his former love. It had never crossed his mind to break that window, to think about him during that time.

But Wonpil was here now, on the other side of the busy street in the middle of Gangnam. He was here and Jae’s heart felt heavy and guilt filled his veins, making him forget how to breathe.

The noise around him faded away, was like a hollow sound somewhere in the depths of his ear. Wonpil thankfully didn’t see him, otherwise things could have gone wrong, otherwise Jae would have to break their rules even more. Break the rules they had come up with after months and months of crying and fighting and- and being tired. So, so tired.

Memories came flashing back into Jae’s mind, memories of them being happy. Memories of Wonpil holding onto his arms as they danced slowly in the moonlight. Memories of them putting books into their newly bought book shelfs. Memories of them sharing their first kiss so many years ago.  
Jae blinked, once, twice. Swallowed. Wanted to look away but couldn’t. Wonpil was still trying to find a cab to stop for him, was typing something on his phone in quick finger movements and he still didn’t notice Jae.

Someone bumped into Jae and he was brought back to reality for a short moment, before he looked into the direction of the person who had disturbed him just to turn back to Wonpil and find him waving his hand with more effort.

It had been exactly eight months, thirteen days and seventeen hours that they had seen each other the last time. Eight months since the last spring, thirteen days since the last day, seventeen hours since the last touch of hands.

It had been exactly six years, three months, four days and twelve hours since their last kiss.

And it had been exactly six years, three months, four days and six hours since Jae had broke Wonpil’s heart.

 **Six** **years** **ago**

Before Jae and Wonpil had become a couple, Jae had kind of hated the younger boy. They had met in college and while Wonpil fell in love at first sight, it had taken Jae two years to finally give in and go on a date with Wonpil. To his own surprise it hadn’t even taken him another two weeks to be head over heels for the boy that had wanted to be his for so long.

Their friends had always known those two would end up together, had made bets about how long it would take for those two get married and in the end Younghyun had won, as they decided to get married after another year and a half.

Jae had proposed to Wonpil at the spot where they had met for the first time, back at their old college campus, back at the (now closed) coffee shop. It had rained like a bitch and Jae had almost dropped out of his plan but the moment he had spotted Wonpil, pink umbrella in his hand with a smile on his face like it was the first time, Jae couldn’t help but drop down to one knee and ask him to marry him.

It was no surprise that Wonpil had said yes.  
Because Jae was the love of his life.  
Because there was no one Wonpil wanted but Jae.

Because they were supposed to be together forever.

Planning their wedding had been a task Wonpil was more than willing to take over, planning everything from the flowers to the dessert with his mum.

Jae, meanwhile, had focused on earning money. They were gonna get married in the States, Los Angeles, where Jae was originally from. Wonpil was eager to learn as much English as he could. Jae was eager to make enough money for them to have a wonderful, a perfect wedding.

No one saw coming what was about to happen. No one would have guessed it.

They flew to the States and Jae held Wonpil’s Hand for the whole eleven hours. Wonpil was sure there was no one quite like Jae on this planet. He was also sure that he loved Jae more than anything. More than himself.

No one would have guessed it.

The wedding was held at a country club that Wonpil had found that was all pro same sex marriage and in their budget, located close to the beach with a big golf course on it’s right. It was beautiful, on a hill with a great view, with the wind blowing, the air smelling like salt, the sand between their toes soft.

The guests arrived two days before the actual wedding and everything seemed fine. Wonpil was happy. And Jae was happy too.

Until he suddenly thought he might not be.

The thought crossed his mind when they were having the rehearsal dinner two nights before the wedding.

Love, in Jae’s mind, was something so vulnerable and special that not every person was able to really cherish it. Love was the most powerful feeling of them all because it had the power to destroy once it disappeared.

For Jae, love had always been seeing Wonpil smile and feel warmth all over his heart. It had always been wanting to be wherever Wonpil was, wanting to hold his hand, wanting to never leave his side even once. It had been sleeping next to Wonpil and feeling his breath on his cheek, had been Wonpil nagging when Jae over slept on their anniversary but still making him breakfast and letting Jae take him out to dinner. For Jae, love had been Wonpil.

On that sacred night, Jae found himself wanting to escape from Wonpil for the first time in three years.

Somehow he made it through the rehearsal dinner and somehow he managed to smile even when he felt like crying.

He excused himself after, giving Wonpil a kiss. “I wanna take a walk, just me and my thoughts”, he had said and Wonpil had sent him away with a smile.

“The last walk as a free man”, he had jokingly said and Jae had laughed even though he felt like throwing up.

  
Coming to terms with what he was supposed to come to terms with was the hardest thing Jae had ever had to do.

Walking along the beach with thoughts in his head he never thought he would have, Jae slowly started to realise what he should have realised months ago.  
The waves broke and the water reached his bare feet, the cold feel of the wetness made Jae shiver and he put his hands in his pockets. The sky was clear today, the stars bright. Wonpil would have loved this. Would have loved to hold onto Jae’s arm as he told him stories about how he used to want to catch a star and bring it home to his mother.  
As Jae continued walking, his legs felt heavier and heavier and lastly he let himself fall down onto the sand, hands grabbing on the hem of his own shirt and he tried to not dig his fingers into his skin.  
L.A was never truly cold especially not in April, but here he was, Park Jaehyung, freezing as if it was the middle of winter in Seoul.

Suddenly the thought of Wonpil sitting at his piano crossed Jae’s mind. The way Wonpil would play with his eyes closed, his fingers playing a beautiful melody. Almost as beautiful as Wonpil himself.  
Normally, this thought would fill Jae with pride and warmth for his boyfriend, slash, fiancé, but now it did nothing but pain him deeply, made him want to run away.

Jae only noticed that he had started crying when the tears fell down on his feet. For a second he had thought it had started raining, but then he had felt the wetness on his face, the dryness of his throat and the pain in his heart only growing stronger.

Laying down, his back hitting the soft sand as his eyes scanned the sky for a sign, any sign, Jae tried to tell himself that this was normal. It was normal to feel scared two days before one’s wedding, to feel like maybe one was making a mistake. Yeah, it was fine. This would go away. Tomorrow was a new day. Tomorrow he would be happy again.

  
When Jae woke up the next morning, a peacefully sleeping Wonpil next to him, he wasn’t happy again.

  
The day of the wedding had come and Jae had tried his best to not feel the way he did. Wonpil, thankfully, hadn’t noticed any shift in Jae’s behaviour and so they went on with preparations until Wonpil went to get ready for the ceremony. He was the one to walk out first.

Wonpil’s best man was their friend Dowoon, the youngest out of their friend group and drummer of their college rock band that they had given up on a few years back. He was the one walking down first with Jamie, one of Jae’s closest friends.

Jae’s best man was Younghyun. Younghyun who had been through everything with him, who had seen him at his best and would now see him at his absolute worst.

Standing in a perfectly fitting tuxedo, Jae didn’t recognise himself. The mirror showed him a face he thought he knew, but didn’t really.  
“Are you ready?”, Younghyun came in, fixing his tie and looking at his best friend. Jae didn’t move. He just stared at himself in the reflection.

“Ah, it’s normal to be nervous, hyung!” Younghyun put his arm around Jae’s shoulder, a smile plastered on his face. Jae still couldn’t move.

“Hyung?”, Concern crossed the best man’s face and he let go off Jae to look at him from head to toe. Jae’s dark hair was styled back, his brown eyes looked stunning with the dark gold eye shadow Jamie had put on him earlier. Jae looked handsome, just like he always did.

“I’m okay”, Jae finally said, bringing his eyes to Younghyun.

“I’m okay.”

Something in Jae’s eyes told Younghyun that he was lying.

  
Wonpil stood at the end of the aisle. Dowoon next to him. Younghyun on the other side. Jamie behind him. Jae was about to walk down with his mother who was waiting for her son, arm reached out. And Jae took it, took her arm and let her guide him to the entrance.

And Jae walked down the aisle. Until he didn’t.

He stopped in his step, making his mother almost trip. The room went quiet. Wonpil looked at Jae in pure confusion.

And Jae?

Jae swallowed hard. Tears daring to come out again.

His eyes met Wonpil’s. A silent plead was exchanged. Wonpil begged Jae to keep on walking. Jae begged Wonpil to understand. None of them did what they were begged to do.

All the life seemed to leave Wonpil’s body as he watched Jae let go of his mother’s arm. As he watched the love of his life mouth something to him just before he turned around and ran.

He just… ran.

Wonpil wanted to scream. Wanted to run after him. But his legs felt like cement and he was sure his lungs would collapse the second he started moving.

And so, Wonpil just watched Jae run away from the day that was supposed to be the happiest of They life.

He watched Jae run away from their families and friends that had travelled all the way to see them get married.

But most importantly. He watched Jae run away from him.

  
-

The memories of that sacred day still made Jae feel disgusting. The way he had taken off back then, without any explanation, without talking to Wonpil; there was nothing Jae regretted more than that.

Not the leaving part, he was still sure that that been the right thing to do, the right thing for him. But the way he did it? No. He hated himself for that.

Ever since then, he had seen Wonpil exactly one time a year. On April 17th. The day they were supposed to get married.

He didn’t know why Wonpil had chosen that date, maybe to make Jae remember what he did.

They met every April 17th in the street café close to where they used to live together. They would talk then, never about what happened between them, but about what had been happening. The last time had been eight months ago, shortly before Wonpil’s 35th birthday.

Jae could deal with this, with seeing him once a year on that one day, he had never once missed it, had always been there. He had always told Wonpil what was going on in his life but he never told him how good he was actually doing.

But he knew that Wonpil knew anyways. Because Wonpil just did that. Because Wonpil just cared that much.

Now, Wonpil was finally catching that cab he had been waiting for for five minutes now and once he got into it and drove away, Jae felt his lungs finally starting to work again.

He didn’t miss Wonpil. He just hated himself enough to feel like he did.

  
**April** **17th** **2030**

The café had not changed even once in all those years. It was still held in warm brown colours with patterned stools and cozy couches.  
Jae saw Wonpil through the window and for a second he thought about running away again. He didn’t.

Walking into the café, Jae took in the smell of coffee and freshly baked scones and made his way over to Wonpil’s table. The younger was reading something on his phone and only looked up when Jae cleared his throat.

Normally when they met, Jae was prepared for what was about to happen. But this time was different, this time he had seen him only a few months ago, had seen how bad he looked, how unhappy. Today though, Wonpil was wearing a dark green sweater with a white dress shirt underneath, the collar out. Black flat ironed jeans and dark brown leather shoes. Hair was carefully styled back, the creases on his face just barely visible. Today, Wonpil had colour in his face, his cheeks were full and his eyes bright, no dark circles in sight. Today, Wonpil looked as if he was truly okay.

Jae’s heart hurt as he came to the conclusion that this was a facade Wonpil had build himself for every April 17th for the past six years.

“Hyung”, Wonpil greeted him and pulled Jae into a hug. Jae felt Wonpil’s scent creep up in his nose, felt the familiarity of his touch on his back. A part of him ached for the younger, but only the part that felt the worst about how he had left him.

They sat down soon after and Jae only then noticed that his order was already there. A hot chocolate with lactose free milk. He looked at Wonpil, who smiled at him, putting his phone into his pocket.

“You didn’t have to order for me”, Jae said. Wonpil shrugged.

“Why not? Has your order changed?”

Jae slowly shook his head.

“Then just drink it, hyung. Before it gets cold.”

Bringing the cup to his lips, he took a small sip. It tasted wonderful.

“So, how have you been?”

The conversation started as it always did. Jae listened to Wonpil after he finished his story about the past year, leaving out the part about him seeing Wonpil a few months back.  
Wonpil talked about the music school he had opened with Dowoon and Sungjin, about how he gave piano lessons, while Dowoon taught drums and Sungjin the guitar. He mentioned their former mutual friends every time and Jae had to admit that it did hurt a little bit. But he just couldn’t be mad at them for dropping him after what he had done to Wonpil.

Only when Wonpil suddenly stopped talking, Jae realised that he had spaced out.

“Are you listening to me, hyung?” Wonpil tilted his head to the side, a small smile on his lips. Jae looked back at him, tongue licking over his dry bottom lip.

“Yeah, sorry I just-“, Jae cleared his throat and shoved the cup around on the table, from one hand to the other, only in small gaps.

“I just wanted to say sorry”, Jae heard himself say, “sorry for…what I did back then. I know we said we won’t mention this but, god, Wonpil, I was an asshole that hurt you like that. I shouldn’t have done that. You didn’t deserve that.”

Wonpil’s eyes had gone hazy.

“I am truly sorry, Wonpil. I should have apologised years ago. I wanna apologise that I was the one to get the good side of things. That I left you just like that, that I didn’t mind this whole thing as much as you. I’m so sorry I put you through all of this. I don’t deserve you even meeting me every year.”

Jae had no idea where that came from. He just knew that he had had to finally say it, to address the elephant in the room. And with that, he just blurted out all the things he never thought he could.

“I am sorry that I got the good side of everything. That I left and was happy while you were drowning in your feelings with no one to give you an explanation. I’m sorry that I travelled back to Korea alone and then went on to just go wherever I wanted to without ever speaking to you. I’m sorry that I took Younghyun with me and, fuck, I am so sorry he and I started dating so shortly after us. Everything I did was out of pure egotism, out of wanting to do what was the best for me. I put myself first when I should have thought about you, about us. I am so fucking sorry, Wonpil. I just…I just wanted to finally say that to you.”

When Jae finished, tears were rolling down his face as well as Wonpil’s. They looked at each other for a good minute before Wonpil wiped his tears away with the napkin next to his coffee and cleared his throat.

“Thank you, Jae hyung. I never knew I needed to hear this so badly.” He said. Jae slowly nodded.

When Wonpil got up to leave, Jae didn’t stop him.

  
When next year’s April came around, neither of them went to the café.

And the year after that.

And the year after that.

In good times.

In bad times.

Until death,  
Did them apart.  
Just, that they were never together.

 


End file.
